


but at least we're on our way

by neurolingual



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, there isn't a plot i lied, there's no real plot other than, to file a complaint please direct your calls to 1-800-go-away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-05 20:52:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13396011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neurolingual/pseuds/neurolingual
Summary: Karolina doesn’t think Nico deserves all the ragging she’s getting for her heavily gothic look and dark, threatening eyeliner.If they had wanted Nico to lighten up, spread some color, Karolina was more than happy to share.After all, it did come out through her fingertips.





	1. leave your sorrow on the table

**Author's Note:**

> i came out of hibernation and i'm so bisexual for this
> 
> title from "let's go" by khalid
> 
> disclaimer forreal tho i don't know anything about anything so i can guarantee the bit about the shop is wrong
> 
> k thnx luv u bye

Together, they’ve got enough brain power to top the Victor Stein empire and then some; in hindsight, the six of the smartest kids in Brentwood becoming a family of their own may have been, in the end, the thing that saved their lives.

Their common sense might be the thing that kills them. 

As far as disguises go, no one came close to succeeding—Alex especially. Karolina’s pretty sure he just raided his own closet for some of his more tattered-looking clothes. And, honestly, suggesting that Alex looked anything relative to tattered was being generous.

Chase and Gert we’re necessarily doing their best, either. A slapstick wig and an oversized trench coat would be basically useless when someone looked at their faces.

(That’s even  _without_  the inclusion of Gert’s emotional support dinosaur).

Molly was entirely too precious for Karolina to pick apart and scrutinize; in her own way, how Molly seemed to carry herself in that pink highlighter vest gave her a weird confidence Karolina felt as though Molly deserved. 

Then on to Karolina herself, which—

To be fair, staggering just below Chase’s six-foot-and-something-inches makes it harder to find clothes for Karolina that  _actually_  fit her torso. Every shirt that Molly, bless her heart, had picked out for her ended up looking like a crop top.

(The hope that she could make Nico’s cheeks turn red allowed her to entertain the idea of a higher-riding shirt, exposing her to just above her belly button, but then she thought about the  _wicked_  sunburn she’d get and ruffled through the bag for something that at least reached her navel.)

The high-waisted 80s flare jeans and bright yellow top had been the only things she could into that didn’t look too ridiculous. She looked rather odd—felt rather odd, for that matter.

And then, of course.

There was Nico.

Karolina had to admit, the others did have a point. Tacking a lip-ring on top of her, otherwise, unchanged wardrobe choices wasn’t exactly hiding or blending in. In fact, Karolina was worried that it just made her stand out more.

But they have a  _dinosaur_ , so. Not really fair for one person to take the brunt of it all. 

Karolina doesn’t think Nico deserves all the ragging she’s getting for her heavily gothic look and dark, threatening eyeliner.

If they had wanted Nico to lighten up, spread some color, Karolina was more than happy to share. 

After all, it did come out through her fingertips.

In all of their defenses, however, Karolina has to cut them some slack.

She doesn’t think their lack of deception and subterfuge capabilities could have prepared them for running away from their homicidal ex-parents.

 

 

 

 

Lucky for them, Alex found a friend willing to loan him five-grand in cash, and as suspicious as they all were—as suspicious as Karolina still  _is_ —no one looks a gift horse in the mouth. No one knows how long they’ll be gone.

Or if they’re ever coming back.

Karolina tries not to dwell. 

Halfway to Phoenix they stop at one of those superstores and Karolina comes out with cans of white spray paint. Chase doesn’t argue much while he drives around looking for a secluded spot upon her request, and everyone’s confusion sort of dissipates when she rounds the side of the van and starts covering up the large black “G”. 

“Better to look only a little bit shady than to have the name of the church plastered on the side of our getaway car,” she says, shaking the can.

Nico hums and slips out the van to help her while the others take a break to snack, sliding the door shut behind her.

Grabbing a can from the bag beside Karolina’s feet, Nico shakes the can and pops off the lid, starting on the farther end of the logo. Her tongue peeks out in her concentration, and Karolina really, truly, tries not to stare.

She gets caught, anyway. Nico doesn’t let her hide it.

“You  _could_  take a picture,” she teases, not unkindly.

The tips of Karolina’s ears turn red. 

“I could. But,” Karolina presses down on the nozzle. “I like looking at it too much.”

Nico stops spraying the van. Karolina shuts her eyes tight, shakes her head at herself.

“You like looking at my tongue?”

She entertains the thought of jumping back into that massive hole and “forget” to fly back up.

She makes a noncommittal noise and continues spraying over the emboldened letters of the church, and something inside her pinches. When Nico stands to follow up behind her, to spray over Karolina’s paint to make sure it’s really covered, she brushes Karolina’s shoulder with her knuckles, like she knows. Like she could feel the pinch, too. 

 

 

 

 

“C’mon, please?”

Karolina closes her eyes. Her grip on the steering wheel tightens just so, enough to make Nico’s brow quirk from the passenger seat.

“Molly,” she tries, voice less than steady. “It’s a three-hour trip.”

“Plus, it’s in the opposite direction of where we’re headed,” Alex adds, slumping against the back of Karolina’s seat.

Molly fixes him with a look.

“Which is  _where_ , exactly?”

The van falls quiet.

Nico shrugs. “She’s got a point." 

Karolina meets Molly’s eyes in the rear view. Gert’s trying to pretend like she doesn’t want to go.

She sighs. 

She turns on the next exit leading them to Holbrook.

 

 

 

 

The dinosaurs outside of the Rainbow Rock Shop are anticlimactic to her, but the rest of the team seems enthralled by the oddities lying about. Their intrigue is endearing enough.

She’s leant up against the van, on the lookout and watching over Old Lace, who seems just as enamoured in the dinosaurs as Molly was when they first showed up.

They eventually file out; Molly places a bumper sticker on the van that has a t-rex saying Rainbow Rock in bubble letters, and a tie dye bandana in place of the other. Gert has something stuffed into a bag she won’t show anyone, and Alex and Chase come out empty handed.

Nico comes out with a bag of her own.

“I can drive for a bit,” she says, walking up to Karolina. She opens her hand and Karolina gives the keys over, eying the bag at Nico’s side.

“What’d you get?” She asks. Probably something that would make the rest of them uncomfortable for her own fun.

Nico pushes her sunglasses farther up her nose, looking away as she fiddles with the keys in her hand. “Just. A shirt.”

Karolina pushes herself off the side of the van, feeling a tug at the corner of her mouth.

“You got a souvenir?” Karolina full on grins when Nico fixes her with what she assumes is a glare, though she can’t quite see through the large, oversized shades. She takes the bag from Nico’s hand, and surprisingly, Nico doesn’t fight for it back. Instead, she turns her head to the side, crossing her arms over her chest when Karolina unfolds the shirt to look at it fully.

It’s green with a yellow design down the center—something like the chest of the dinosaur statue out front—with “ _I Stopped at the Rainbow Rock Shop!_ ” in bold, black letters.

It makes Karolina laugh. “It’s so cute!” 

Nico’s cheeks are red. “It’s... pajamas.”

The weight still in the bag draws Karolina’s attention down, something of a similar color folded neatly at the bottom. 

Her brows knit together. “Why’d you get two?”

Nico barely waits for Karolina to piece it together before she hurries to the driver’s side door, and Karolina feels a throb between her ribs. 

 _Oh_.

She bites down on the corner of a smile.

 

 

 

 

It’s dark outside. Karolina knows Alex is tired by the sag of his shoulders over the steering wheel, Molly’s snoring in the seat beside him seeming to make him even more weary.

They’re looking for a motel, somewhere seedy enough they can pay in cash, but in a more populated area so they don’t get murdered. They’re somewhere in New Mexico, going nowhere in particular.

Nico’s legs are draped over Karolina’s lap as she and Gert snooze against one another, Old Lace nudging up against Gert’s side, snoring loud enough to rival Molly.

Karolina picks at the laces on Nico’s boots, loosening their hold while trying to pretend Chase isn’t staring at Gert while she sleeps.

She leans her head against the side of the van, lolling to the side to watch Nico sleep. She not actually  _watching_ , just  _looking_. Just tracing the curve of her nose in the passing lights of streetlamps and worrying falling asleep in that make-up will make Nico break out. She’ll have to get Nico to wipe it off her face before she crashes tonight, whenever they get there. Wherever they end up.

Chase doesn’t even bother pretending she’s not staring.

“Cute.” He smirks, and Karolina whips her head towards him.

“What’s cute?” Alex grumbles from the front seat, lifting his glasses to rub his eyes with the heel of his palm.

Karolina feels as panicked as Chase looks.

“Uh. Nothing, just,” Chase’s frantic eyes scan the van for something to land on. “Old Lace.” They wince.

Alex hums, too tired to pursue it further.

Karolina smarts at Chase’s leg and he tries not to make a noise as he swats her hand away.

Nico stirs but doesn’t wake, hand limply reaching out to lay a finger over the hand Karolina has pressed to the floor.

She doesn’t hide the bloom of affection in her cheeks.

Chase mouths L-O-V-E over and over until Karolina somehow manages to stomp on his shin.

 

 

 

 

The Wilder’s have a cabin just outside of Aspen. Alex assures them that there’s no way their parents could find them here for a while. There’s no security system, no wifi, no sell service; there’s barely even a refrigerator.

“We used to come her all the time,” Alex says, dumping their measely grocery haul onto the table. “Now it’s just a storage closet. We can crash here for a few days while we make a plan.”

There’s a lack of bedrooms for the amount of people there, and to take cozy to a whole new level, Chase and Karolina can almost touch the ceiling.

They take turns in the shower. Gert being the first one finished sets to making everyone peanut butter and jellies and ramen. Karolina is twisting her hair into a braid when she steps out of the bathroom in the shirt Nico had gotten her, only to find Nico on the couch, tired eyes seeming to brighten at the sight of Karolina walking towards her, curled up in the same shirt, though it’s two sizes too big on her.

Gert catches Karolina’s eyes from the kitchen table. Karolina shoots her a warning glare.

She turns her attention back to Nico. It’s been a long time since Karolina’s seen her without heavy eyeliner and black lips, without her set of armor. There’s something warmer about her face, something more timid and open that makes Karolina’s chest tighten, a flutter in her veins.

Nico smiles at her, lips pale pink and oh so plump and Karolina starts leaning over the back of the couch to kiss her when she hears someone clear their throat behind her.

Alex looks between them, and Karolina feels sheepish, feels guilty but as she moves away, Nico grabs her wrist between to fingers.

Nico lifts an eyebrow at Alex in a challenge, lips pressed into a thin line. “Is there a problem?”

Alex’s eyes flit between them, something in them flickering that Karolina can’t quite place. He looks up from Nico to her, softens somewhat. He doesn’t smile, but he’s not unkind.

“No.” He grabs a sandwich off the table and heads upstairs, biting down while trudging through Gert’s protests that they “Eat as a family, God damnit!”

They join Gert at the table, Molly and Chase not far behind. Old Lace munches on something off in the corner, and Chase flinches when she whips to look at him as he places his hand on Gert’s lower back.

Aside from Molly, they’re too tired to chit chat, and instead listen as she rambles off about how she’d love to learn how to ski someday, and  _does anyone know how to ski? Do you know how to ski, Chase? Can you teach me?_

Nico bumps their hips as they brush their teeth side by side, squeezing to fit into the bathroom together.

(Well, more like Nico bumps her thigh).

They say their goodnights to the rest of the team and Old Lace, who follows Gert up the stairs with Molly in tow. Nico and Karolina unroll the sleeping bags they had found in the downstairs linen closet, stealing pillows off the couch and shifting around until they were at least somewhat comfortable.

It was a wooden floor, after all.

She’s close to drifting off, the welcome sense of relative security of walls and a roof pulling her close to sleep when Nico rustles around in her sleeping bag, turning on her side to face Karolina and Karolina tries to pretend that she’s at least half-asleep, that she’s not flustered from being at the center of Nico’s attention.

“Karolina?”

She’s so jittery that she almost considers not turning around, not answering, but she can hear Nico’s labored breathing and sense the nerves radiating off her.

She doesn’t answer, but instead turn her head to see Nico, the whites of her eyes almost visible, moonlight streaming in from the skylight above them so line the curve of her body in white.

Karolina wonders what Nico would look like with the fluorescents of her lights bouncing off and curling over Nico’s skin.

There’s a beat before Nico moves, shuffling out of her sleeping bag to set her upper body free. Karolina’s nails dig into her palm as Nico drapes herself above Karolina’s chest, her own heaving under the baggy, charming shirt hanging off her shoulders.

Nico kisses Karolina before she even has a chance to meet her halfway.

She’s almost sad that Nico doesn’t have lipstick to stain her own mouth with, something she can wipe off with the back of her and thrill about it in the morning, like a newly pledged secret. But the softness in her kiss pulls Karolina clear of those thoughts, Nico’s lips much softer than when under a layer of matte.

It’s chaste, barely there, like they’re afraid to hurt one another. As charmed as Karolina is by this tentativeness Nico’s been displaying, she wants more.  _Needs_ more. Hopes Nico needs the same. 

She feels the separation begin but pushes forward with her mouth open wider, brushing Nico’s lip with her tongue.

Nico jerks back and Karolina’s heaving chest seems to follow her up.

“I- Do you-“ Nico searches for something around the room and Karolina groans into her hands, jaw clenched tight.

“Nico, I’m so sorry.” The sigh she lets out cracks with her voice. “I should have asked.”

“Don’t-“ Nico cuts herself short. “Don’t be sorry.”

“But I didn’t ask.”

“Did I ask?”

Karolina lifts, rests herself back on her elbows. “What?”

“Did I ask you to ask?”

“I figured asking me to ask was implied through my ask.”

“You mean the ask that you _didn’t_ ask.”

Karolina’s voice struggles to make sense of the noise coming from her mouth, but instead, she dissolves in an awful crack of laughter, head leant back to expose the column of her throat with Nico still hovering over her.

“Where is this conversation going?” She asks through a smile, tilts her head back up to see Nico sporting a matching one.

“I guess it proves I’m worse at flirting with a girl than I thought.”

Boldness blooms in her chest as Karolina drops her eyes to Nico’s lips, lowers her voice an octave. “You were flirting with me?”

“Not well, obviously.”

“If it helps,” Karolina manages to tough light fingers to Nico’s throat, core tightening to support the loss of an arm, “I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

“I seriously,” Nico’s pulse flutters; Karolina feels it beneath her fingertip. “ _Seriously_ , don’t believe that.”

Karolina holds Nico’s jaw between timid hands as she guides them both back down, mouths barely grazing until Karolina’s head hits the pillow.

Nico has her tongue in Karolina’s mouth Karolina’s eyes squeeze even tighter closed and it’s all she can do to stop the groan that threatens to rip through her chest.

Nico presses against Karolina as much as her sleeping bag will allow, Karolina’s fingers tangling into the hair pulled tight into a bun on the top of Nico’s head.

There’s too much between them; all Karolina wants is Nico—Nico pressing against her hips, Nico tracing the stretched muscles in her neck, feeling Nico’s pulse under her lips at the junction of her collar,  _Nico_   _Nico_   _Nico_.

Karolina pulls back with Nico’s lip between her teeth, pressing a kiss to her bottom lip as she speaks, mouths tracing against the other. “I like you.”

A smile. Karolina loves the way it feels when Nico presses it to her cheek.

“Me too.”

She smiles. Playful. Karolina kisses the corner of her jaw.

“You like you too?”

Nico’s chest against hers when she laughs is enough to shatter her in pieces.

“Shut up.”

Karolina kisses her again.

And again.

And again.


	2. pick up your worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karolina begins to frown, stops it by pressing her lips into a thin line. “Like I said. Everything is fine.”
> 
> “ _Really_ ,” Gert fixes Karolina with a frown of her own. “Because watching you and Nico interact right now is like chewing on a mouthful of thumbtacks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i three beers in while i'm typing this? chet ubetcha 
> 
> i'm writing this to pretend that my real life isn't happening so i hope u enjoy
> 
> i'm making this a set of three. you all really seemed to like it, plus i didn't get a lick of sleep and got bored
> 
> if there are any mistakes let me off the hook. im drunk

“So, what are you?”

Karolina pauses halfway through a bite of toast, setting down the funnies strip from one of the newspapers she bought before they left LA. She doesn’t know whether she should keep chewing the bit she does have in her mouth, or if she could even stomach it now; the look on Alex’s face is enough to make her queasy.

She manages, though. Washes it down with a sip of too-hot coffee. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what.”

(Karolina was hoping to avoid this for as long as possible. Maybe even forever.

Cloud nine had kept her afloat all night after Nico was wiped from kissing and wiggled her way into Karolina’s bag, tangling their legs and resting her head on Karolina’s chest, fingers drumming along to Karolina’s heartbeat against her sternum until she drifted off. The weight of Nico against her was better than what she had allowed herself to entertain at night mere weeks ago.

Through the night they had shifted, Karolina waking to a bright orange sky and a dead arm. Nico was held tight against her, bodies curled and slotting together like a jigsaw. It was perfectly perfect in all of its perfectly perfect ways, and Karolina was more than content to let her arm fall off, if need be. 

But someone purposefully stomped past them on their way to the kitchen, jolting Nico awake. Karolina still had crescents indented on the inside of her wrist.

Nico shot up out of the sleeping bag after letting Karolina go, ready to give whomever was being a “rude asshole” an earful. Maybe even a split lip.

Until they saw Alex shoving himself into a heavy coat, his eyes dark and angry—Karolina had never seen him like this before—and clomping out the door, slamming it behind him.

From upstairs, Chase had yelled into his pillow. “What the  _fuck_?”)

He stands unflinching, his grip on the chair opposite her beginning to close her throat as his knuckles grow paler.

“Alex,” she tries pushing herself away from the table in a slow, determined move, but the chair gives a loud screech when ground against the wooden floor. “You’re kind of scaring me.”

He blinks; a slow, deep breath fills his lungs, and he pushes himself away, giving Karolina back her space.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just- things are unclear between me and Nico. And when I saw you with her this morning, and last night,” he looks at her again. “I just wanted to know if she told you whether or not she’s gay and if I even have a chance anymore.”

“Even if I _wanted_ to, it’s not my business to tell.” She sips at her coffee again. Her tongue burns a little less. “It’s Nico’s. And there is such a thing as liking boys  _and_  girls, Alex, it’s called being—”

“—Bisexual, yeah.” He hangs his said. “I know. I’m sorry. This isn’t coming out how I wanted it to.”

“It’s still not your place to ask.” She picks up the comic strips again. “It’s Nico’s.  _And_  mine. And I don’t feel comfortable sharing with you right now.” She looks up at him from over the papers. “You’re freaking me out.”

“What’s... going on?”

They both turn their heads at Nico’s voice, paused on the last step and fixing them both with a look that borders on the defensive. She’s in a better fitting black shirt, thumbs through the hole in the sleeve, hair still damp and face still makeup-less.

“Oh,” Alex whispers. “You don’t have any—”

“I don’t wake up caked in seven layers of eyeliner, Wilder. You should know this already.” With Nico’s arms crossed over her chest, jaw at a slant and eyes accusatory, even Karolina begins to shrink, though she knows Nico’s hot eyes aren’t looking at her.

(Even if they were, though, Karolina thinks it’s kind of hot).

She toys at the skin of her lip with her teeth.

Alex presses his fingers together. “Can we talk?”

Nico’s mouth thins. “I have nothing to say.”

“You can’t stay mad at me forever.”

“Watch me.”

Karolina feels like she’s intruding.

“I  _really_  want to work this out,” he sounds desperate, and Karolina makes a decision.

She jerks a thumb over her shoulder, looking between them both, not daring to catch their eyes. She pushes herself up and out of her chair.

“I’m just gonna...” she trails off, stepping backwards towards the staircase.

A hand, gentle on her lower back, stops her.

“Alex, it’s done.” Nico says. Karolina fidgets in place.

“Nico,” he drops his head. 

“You kept the worst possible secret from me for two years, and what?” Nico’s lips curl. “You expect me to forgive you? To be able to kiss you? To be able to have sex with you? Again?” 

Oh, no.

That twisted like a knife in Karolina’s gut.

She felt sick.

“I’m serious, Alex.” Nico balled her fist in Karolina’s shirt. “It’s done.”

He looks between them, settling on Karolina’s face and she feels faint, wills herself not to sway.

“Okay.” He rounds the table, disappearing upstairs.

Nico mumbles something under her breath; it doesn’t sound like it’s in English. Karolina only knows a few words in Japanese, but her head is too light to even produce words in her own language, let alone translating from another.

“Hey,” Nico’s voice is kinder, softer. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no.” Shaking her head turns out to be a bad idea. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just—”

“Do you want to sit?”

Karolina decides it’s best not to nod and instead just begins to walk over to the couch, Nico guiding her to sit down.

“Can I get you anything?” Nico smooths the hair back from Karolina’s forehead. “Water?”

There must have been a desperate sort of look on her face; Nico smothers down a smile as she stands, careful not to shake the couch, and moves quick into the kitchen. When she hands Karolina the glass, the water seems to calm her almost instantly.

“Are you allergic to conflict or something?” Nico tries to joke, but Karolina only gives her a lackluster curl in the corner of her mouth.

“No, I...” she wracks around for an answer. “I think it’s just- being cooped up for so long and then being so still, I think- I’m worn out, is all.” She forces a smile. “And I think not having my bracelet to help hold in my powers is starting to take a toll on my immune...” she looks away from Nico. “...system.”

Nico  _clearly_  doesn’t buy it.

“You’re a shit liar." 

Karolina sighs. “Nico—”

“It’s fine, just.” She squeezes Karolina’s thigh. “Come to me when you’re ready, I guess.”

She leaves Karolina alone on the couch.

(That night, Karolina sleeps alone, too.)

 

 

 

 

They leave Aspen before a storm hits; thanks to Gert, insisting they get a move on before they fall into “ _hazardous road conditions_ ,” they don’t really have a destination. To make matters worse, she practically wrangled the steering wheel out of Alex’s hands.

Karolina rests her palm flat on Old Lace’s nose—snout? Muzzle? She’ll ask Gert later—the dinosaur leaning into her touch. Nico looks on at the two in silence, a smile tugging at her mouth.

Karolina manages to catch her eye. “Something funny?”

Nico blinks, unaware she had been zoning off. Her smile dips a little, but it’s still genuine. “Karolina Dean and an apex predator. It’s not something you see every day.”

They haven’t spoken much since Nico sat her on the couch yesterday. Karolina still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that someone had been with Nico. Been naked with Nico. Been  _intimate_  with Nico. Been  _inside_ —

She closed her eyes at the thought.

She figured lightheartedness could at least help process all of this.

“You know,” she holds Old Lace’s chin in her free hand. “You could take a picture.”

Tongue in her cheek, fighting off a smile, Nico turns bright red.

And does just that.

 

 

 

 

“Can someone go and get us more firewood?”

“I’ll go—” “I can—”

They cut each other short.

Eyes cut between them, the rest of the group fumbling over themselves to come to an abrupt stop.

Karolina chances a look Nico’s way, but she’s gotten herself focused on the trees just past their van, hands folded behind her back.

Chase finally begins to stand, handing Gert a can of something. “You know what?” He brushes his hands off on his jeans, tilting his head towards the thicket just beyond their campsite. “I’ll just get it myself.”

 

 

 

 

Karolina thinks Nico’s been trying not to kiss her for the last twenty minutes.

The diner they’ve stopped in is cozy; it smells like the kind of apple pie Karolina thinks that grandmothers bake, weathered hands handling the dough with a practiced kind of care. Rain pounds against the windows, lulls her into a calm she hasn’t felt into a while.

Her fries have gone cold, been that way for a while now. When she had wiped ketchup off her lip with the pad of her thumb, that’s when Nico began to stare.

She hasn’t looked away since.

Gert almost slips on her way back inside, soaked to the bone. Thunder cracks behind her, muted as the door clicks shut.

“Do you think that me ordering four steaks to go was weird?” Gert wipes the droplets off her glasses, waiting for Karolina to stand so she can slide back into the booth next to Alex.

All but Nico do their best at pretending. They hurry to combat her nerves, but she accepts the fact that the way the waitress’s eyebrows quirking as she handed Gert the Styrofoam box was a sign of an inkling of suspicion, especially when Gert immediately ran out to the van with it.

“Try not to think too much about it.” Chase reaches across the table to squeeze Gert’s hand, the bill of his cap casting a shadow over his face. “Besides,” he leans back in the booth, takes a sip from his bottle of root beer. “The more you fuss about it, the worse it will get.”

Gert frowns. “You’re not helping.”

Molly twirls her spaghetti around her fork. “He does have a point.”

Karolina busies herself with tearing pieces off of the napkin below the empty mug of coffee before her. Nico plays with a sugar packet, twisting it between her fingers. Black nails clash with the powder pink packet, giving a sense of comfort to Karolina in some small, strange way; Nico’s personality standing out amongst the fray.

She doesn’t find Nico’s stare to be unsettling, exactly—she’s no stranger to being the center of attention.

Yet, there’s something about it being _Nico_ — _Nico’s_ focus and _Nico’s_ attention—that thrills her. Her stomach twists, something burning bright hot _red_ in the middle of her chest, spreading down to her fingertips, hands threatening to shake.

The other four carry the conversation without them, and Karolina dares to look up.

Nico’s eyes burn like fire.

She stands, making sure Karolina’s eyes follow her as she hurries down past the bar counter to the restrooms.

No one else seems to notice her absence.

Karolina fishes a quarter from her pocket, moving to the jukebox to feign innocence, landing on a song without really looking. She pretends to watch the news, inching closer and closer towards the bathroom door, hoping not to draw attention to herself.

She knocks on the bathroom door, and Nico reaches out, grabs her by the arm and pulls her inside.

The door locks behind her.

Karolina can’t think of anything to say.

Nico has her fingers hooked in Karolina’ belt loops, tugging them up off of the door.

“Why does it feel like we’re avoiding each other?” Nico’s voice is small, eyes focused instead on the way Karolina twitches when she presses her thumbs against her hips. “I feel like you don’t want to talk to me.”

“Nico,” Karolina hums; she can feel the warm press of Nico’s thumbs above her shirt. “There’s just a lot on my mind.”

Nico takes a breath, then one step back. “A penny for your thoughts?”

Karolina presses her lips together as she sighs. Nico tenses.

“You’ve been weird since me and Alex fought.” She crosses and arm over her chest, rubs under her nose.

(Karolina thinks it looks pink).

“Did I do something?” Nico finally looks up, voice small, out of place.

Something in Karolina snaps, crumbles into the pit of her stomach and she wants to reach out, take Nico’s wrist in her hands and pull her close—anything to fill the cracks in Nico’s voice.

But when she does reach out, Nico leans away.

Karolina’s eyes sting.

“You didn’t do anything,” Karolina’s head thumps back against the door. “It’s me.”

Nico stands silent. Her fingers tighten around her arm, pulling herself in as far as she can go, a set in her jaw and all Karolina wants to do is touch her.

Hold her.

Nico laughs, mirthless and dry. “I’m _so._ _Stupid_.”

She yanks the bathroom door open and leaves Karolina with red-rimmed eyes, dingy light flickering in the mirror.

 

 

 

 

They’re stopped at a gas station in Kansas, Gert filling up the tank with Karolina, the others inside looking for snacks.

Gert keeps looking at her, not saying anything. It makes her squirm.

“Something’s wrong.”

Karolina straightens against the side of the van, hoping to fix Gert with a look to keep her from prying any further. “What? I’m fine.”

“I’m talking about you and Nico.”

Karolina begins to frown, stops it by pressing her lips into a thin line. “Like I said. Everything is fine.”

“ _Really_ ,” Gert fixes Karolina with a frown of her own. “Because watching you and Nico interact right now is like chewing on a mouthful of thumbtacks.”

She sighs.

“Gert, really. It’s nothing.”

Gert ducks down to catch her eye, mouth a comforting smile. “It’s not nothing, sweetheart.”

Her eyes squeeze shut, almost too tight that when she opens them, there are spots in her vision.

“Nico and Alex had sex.”

“Oh-...Kay,” Gert replaces the pump nozzle when it clicks. “Is—”Old Lace grunts from the back of the van. “I- I don’t really see a problem?”

“Nico and Alex had  _sex_.”

“Most people who enjoying having sex have sex, yes.”

“Gert, no,” Karolina closes in on herself, shoulders hunched, a tightness in her neck. “You don’t understand.”

“Is it because Nico had sex with a guy?” Gert looks off-put, but Karolina straightens as best she can, as best as her body allows.

“ _God_ , no. No. No! That’s not why I’m upset.”

Gert seems dazed, eyes not entirely focused. “Then, yeah. I really don’t see the problem.”

“Nico’s had sex before, and I...” she doesn’t need to finish her sentence, if Gert’s eyebrows shooting to her hairline are any indication.

“Karolina,” Gert reaches out to touch her fingers light against Karolina’s wrist. “You and Nico don’t have to have sex to express your feelings.” Her thumb brushes Karolina’s knuckles with comfort. “Do you feel pressured? Is she pressuring you?”

“No, it’s just—” Karolina pauses, licks her lips. “I’ve never... and what if it’s something she wants, or needs, or is  _expecting_  and I’m not ready to give it, and...” she lifts her arms into the air, sounding on the sadder side of pathetic, and: “I don’t even know what I’d do with my hands.”

There’s an amalgamation of so many things flashing up on Gert’s face that Karolina doesn’t know where she’ll even start.

“First of all,” Gert holds up a finger, “I think this is something you and  _Nico_  should talk about. Second,” she lets herself smile. “You use your hands to  _touch_  her.”

“But I don’t even know what we are.”

Gert’s smile is soft, genuine, calming Karolina’s nerves. “Have you tried asking?”

The bell above the shop door rings, and the other four emerge with a few bags and a case of water bottles. Nico catches Karolina’s eye from across the lot, draws her mouth into a thin line; it sends Karolina’s heart tumbling.

Gert stuffs her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “For what it’s worth, I think you should try.”

 

 

 

 

The way in which she makes amends isn’t exactly as coherent as Karolina would have liked.

Nico’s said a total of seven words to her over the last day and a half—

(“Could you hand me a water?”

Karolina narrowed her eyes.

Nico glared back. “ _Please?_ ”)

—and it had been a chore even to get Nico to just _look_ at her.

She tried to blame her clammy palms on the heat, but it was only pushing fifty. Every accidental glance from Nico made her sweat.

Another seedy motel just inside the state line of Iowa became their loading bay for the night, Karolina too exhausted to even press her foot down on the pedal any longer.

All that was left available were single rooms, and Alex was being stingy with the money. He rents three, pulling chase along with him and Molly practically dragging Gert into theirs.

(Nico grumbles a hardened “great” as the man behind the window drops the room key into her outstretched hand).

The shower sounds more like a trickle than it does, well, a _shower_ , and Karolina entertains the idea of just waiting until they can find someplace better, but after sniffing her shirt, she decides she’d rather bare the awful feeling of a motel shower gently peeing on her.

When Nico steps out, she’s in that _damn_ dinosaur shirt again, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. Karolina makes quick time for her shower, hoping to catch Nico before she falls asleep.

Or at least pretends to so she doesn’t have to talk to Karolina.

“Nico, wait.”

Karolina’s leant over the threshold of the bathroom, sleep shorts stopping at her hips, camisole loose around her shoulders. Nico tries not to look, reverts her attention back to turning off the lamp.

“I’m going to bed.”

“Just—wait.” Karolina closes the bathroom door behind her, padding across the shag carpet, but Nico keeps her back to her.

She picks at her nails, unsure of where to start. She doesn’t know if she should start with the fact that the thought of Nico having been touched by anyone else made her sick to her stomach, or that she was a petrified virgin and was afraid Nico would find her incapable and undesirable if she didn’t know what she was doing.

So, she starts out simple.

“I’m sorry.”

Nico’s head seems to turn the slightest bit.

“The way I’ve been brushing you off,” Karolina chances a step forward, “it isn’t right. It’s not been fair to you.”

Nico’s upper body slows to face her.

“And I—” Her mouth is _incredibly_ dry. “I don’t exactly know how to talk about what I’m feeling, but it’s…”

Nico lets Karolina take her hand.

“It’s got _nothing_ to do with…” She steels herself. “With how I feel about you.”

Karolina isn’t sure if she imagines it, but it feels as though something brushes against the side of her thumb, skin warm to the touch.

“The truth is,” Karolina has to look away, blinking to keep herself calm, to keep her eyes dry. “I feel selfish.”

Nico finally gives herself over, steps into Karolina’s space, a tepidness in her stride.

“Selfish?” Nico quirks a brow. “What do you have to feel selfish for?”

Karolina feels as if she’s choking.

Her lungs are tight in her chest, heavy and constricting and she doesn’t know if she can get the words out, but she has to. She _has_ to, or Nico might turn away from her again, for _good_. And that thought alone is almost too much.

She feels like she’s drowning.

“I want you all to myself.” She drags a hand up Nico’s arm, sliding it behind her neck, thumb against the base of Nico’s jaw. Her thumb traces gentle over Nico’s tight cheeks as she clenches her teeth. The other still holds Nico’s wrist loose, touching just above where her pulse thrums under her skin.

Nico tilts her head forward, not quite reaching Karolina’s mouth. Karolina goes to Nico, but she shifts away, nose brushing Karolina’s cheek.

Karolina searches for her, searches for the kiss her mouth craves, can practically feel the beat of her heart in her lips, waiting for Nico to claim it for her own safekeeping.

Instead, she pulls back.

Karolina almost falls forward.

“Let’s go to bed.”

(In hindsight, Karolina is grateful. The need for Nico to touch her skin, to hum her name against her lips, to feel her close and have her near was almost too much—it made her lightheaded just thinking about it).

A throb persists under her skin, beating like mad in her chest as she lays beside Nico in the bed, back flat against the mattress. Nico places her phone on the nightstand, alarm set, curls on her side towards Karolina, tracing a path from her nose down to her lips. 

She regards Karolina with playful eyes. “Are you just going to lie there like a rock all night?”

Karolina lulls her head to the side. “Am I supposed to—?”

“Be on your side? Yeah.” Nico scoots closer.

Karolina can’t keep her eyes off Nico’s lips. “Why?”

“So I can hold you.”

The flush of heat in Karolina’s body is enough to be felt by Nico, enough to make her huff in a breath of laughter. Arm tight around Karolina’s core, her nose presses between the curve of Karolina’s shoulders, Nico’s knee behind her own, and, _God_ —

 _God_ , Karolina doesn’t know how she’s ever gone to sleep without this.


	3. and throw them out the window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A part of her does feel for him, though.
> 
> She couldn't imagine the tragedy that losing Nico Minoru would cause.
> 
> She hopes she never has to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to make this weird, plotless(?) story come full circle. i hope i did a good job
> 
> thank you all for reading !! it was nice to be welcomed back into writing with such nice and positive feedback
> 
> sidenote: no part of me is comfortable writing anything explicit between teenagers so if you were looking forward to some grandiose sex scene you're not going to find it here
> 
> u all are super groovy and y'all be seein more of me real soon

As far as sleeping through the night goes, Karolina thinks she’s had worse.

The motel bed is lumpy, springs jobbing into her side, digging into her hip leaving her sore bone-deep. A kink in her neck keeps her tossing all night; there’s no real way for her to get it comfortable unless she keeps it at an even sixty-degrees off her pillow. Something smells like mildew, so strong and pungent Karolina thinks it might be the sheets—

—Actually, Karolina’s pretty sure it  _is_  the sheets.

There’s a cough, persistent and wet echoing against her floorboards, whomever in the room below seeming to choke on both their lungs and then some.

Gusts of wind try to slip through the crack under the door; the thermostat inside their room said the room is warm enough to keep them comfortable, but Karolina’s teeth are still clattering. She keeps her body as still as she can, though shivers make to rattle her inside-out.

The only thing keeping her from complaining to herself is the calm lull of a tired snore muffled against the middle of her back.

She would never have taken Nico for a snorer.

She’s glad that she gets to know that she is.

 

 

 

 

“I don’t think it’s safe here,” Alex says, drumming on the lid of his to-go coffee. “I feel like something bad is going to happen.”

Karolina doesn’t think she’s the only one who wants to point out that, collectively, they have enough problems piled on top of one another to build a ladder high into the Alps.

Exhausted eyes scrunch over the steam of their coffees—tea for Gert. There’s not a conclusive thought in the room, and Karolina’s tempted to say so, but Alex starts talking again.

“I think we should go back.”

A litany of push-back almost topples them all over.

Karolina tries to hush everyone, the guest in the room below banging on their ceiling to quiet the expletives and threats of abandonment.

“I’m  _more_  than happy to drop you off at a bus stop, Wilder.” Chase has to set his coffee down.  _“_ But there’s no way in _hell_ you can convince me to go back.”

“Not unless you have a damn good reason,” Nico bites back.

Molly quips, “And your parents can’t be it.”

“I’m not  _thinking_  of my parents right now!” Alex slams his fist down on the fold-out table. Gert has to catch her tea from spilling over.  _“_ I’m worried about us. Something doesn’t feel  _right_. I don’t feel  _safe_.”

“How do you think the rest of us feel?” Gert leans back in her chair, a gesture towards him a pointed denial. “Like the world’s not going to drop beneath our feet at any given moment?”

Karolina clenches her fist on top of her thigh.

“All I want is what’s best for  _all_  of us.”

“Are you sure you’re not thinking about what’s best for you?”

They could argue circles around each other all day. Karolina would almost be impressed if it wasn’t her life in immediate danger, being casually disregarded over gas station coffee.

Of course, Karolina’s heart throbs to think of the sunny beaches and all of the places she’d never gotten to go, but going back? Especially now, with news stations plastering their faces almost every minute of every hour?

There’s no worse place to go than back home; the rest of America may be looking, but the LAPD has its nose to the ground like a bloodhound, hoping to snatch the lot of them up and put them away without losing any sleep, oblivious to the real crime.

Or, purposefully ignoring it.

Nico lays her hand on Karolina’s wrist, thumb tracing over the tendons pulled tight in a fist.

Karolina hadn’t even known she was gripping herself so hard.

She lets her hand go slack. Nico hooks her pointer finger around and onto the flat of Karolina’s palm.

She makes her touch known, and not just to Karolina. It’s a possessive sort of comfort, taking Karolina in her hands and making sure everyone knows it. Alex won’t even look their way.

“At the very least,” his shoulders slump, but not quite having given into defeat, “We could head back that way.”

“Make a U-turn in the middle of the U.S. map?” Chase laughs without mirth. “I don’t think so.”

“Even if we agreed to, what would we even do?” Nico straightens beside her, forearms brushing. “Do you think our families—who framed us for  _murder_ —are going to graciously welcome us back?” Nico holds her eyes level with his as he finally turns to her.

“Don’t forget,” Molly has her chin lent against her palm, “You kidnapped me, too.”

Alex’s jaw is tight.

“This isn’t funny.” He looks up at the ceiling.

Before anyone else jumps in, Karolina breaks her silence.

“Let’s just—” she catches the brief quiet in Nico’s eyes. “—sleep on it.” She looks between them all. “Standing around in a motel room beating each other with sticks isn’t going to solve the problem.”

Alex turns to her, eyes low and mouth thin.

“Is that the  _real_  reason you want us out of your room?”

Nico’s soft admission of his name is cut short.

“ _Whoa_ , hey,” Chase steps between them. “Back off.”

“What is  _with_  you?” Gert stands, on the defensive. “You keep acting like Karolina’s personally kicked you in the balls.”

“If he keeps it up,” Chase smirks, “I will.”

Alex storms across the room. “Fuck you.”

Karolina worries the molding with crack from how hard he slams the door.

Then the eyes turn to Karolina and Nico.

“Nico, whatever you did to get his jockstrap in a bunch, you need to fix it.” Chases runs his fingers through his still-damp hair. “The kid steams all night long and legitimately raises the temperature of our room.”

“I don’t give a shit about his feelings,” Nico tightens her hold over Karolina’s hand. “He certainly forgets to take mine into consideration.”

Karolina would be charmed if she didn’t feel like she was choking all the time.

The group stands to leave, Chase the last one out of the door. “I don’t care what you have to do,” he says. “Just fix it.”

When it’s just the two of them, it goes quiet.

“You didn’t stop caring about him because of me, did you?”

Nico almost looks sad Karolina felt the need to ask.

They haven’t actually  _talked_. Most of the ways in which they communicate involve touch and the diminishment of personal space.

They want each other, that much is obvious. Karolina has never wanted, still doesn’t want, to share her (she made that  _too_  obvious). The life they had known in Brentwood has crumbled around their feet time and time again and her only solace is kissing a girl full of muted light that only dresses in all dark.

If there’s ever a discussion—and Karolina _needs_ there to be—she’ll probably leave that last bit out.

Or, just. Maybe paraphrase.

“How I see you shouldn’t be any of his concern.” Nico plays with a loose strand of blonde hair falling in front of Karolina’s shoulder. “And there wasn’t any  _grand_  decision made.” She doesn’t quite look Karolina in the eyes. “I just sort of fell into you. And I liked it.”

Karolina quirks a brow, a playful slant to her mouth.

Nico rolls her eyes. “ _Still_  like it.”

Karolina lets herself be kissed back down onto the mattress.

 

 

 

 

(“Is this really what you want to do, Wilder?” Chase stands with arms crossed, hip lent back against the windowsill.

Karolina flicks her eyes between them.

“We can’t run forever. We need to take a stand at some point.”)

 

 

 

 

“We still have time to go to Canada!”

Karolina smiles at the thought.

The night stretches up above them like an ink-dipped canvas, stars brighter than she’s ever seen in the North Dakotan sky. Luminous and breathtaking and words Karolina can’t find the tongue to pronounce, but she feels connected. She sees the stars on her skin when she dares to allow herself to light up, whenever the opportunity presents itself. It comes few and far between, mostly.

“Canada doesn’t sound half bad,” Nico says, entertaining Molly’s cheerful suggestion from the passenger seat, a jacket Karolina had picked out for herself slung over Nico’s shoulders.

The other three grumble from underneath the blankets lain out in the bed of the van.

“Molly,” Chase groans from against Gert’s pillow. “Go to sleep.”

“We could go!”

“We’ve already decided we’re heading back to somewhere closer to home,” Alex says, a tired edge seeping into his words. “Plus, we’d need passports.”

“Which requires money,” Gert adds.

“And legal documentation of our citizenship,” Alex tacks on once more. “Which gives us away. And we’re five criminals on the run, plus a kidnapped girl, and trying to get into a new country requires—”

“More brainpower to put into thinking about than I’m willing to give right now.” Chase pulls Gert down against his side. “Less  _talking_ , more  _sleeping_.”

The quiet settles in soon after that.

They have another fifty or so miles before they get to the lodging site they have found on their map around the time they had stopped to eat dinner. Karolina had offered to drive; she hadn’t sensed the usual tug behind her eyes that preceded her need for sleep. Driving kept her head clear, too, and though Alex has seemed to ease off in the slightest bit, Karolina could still feel the heat from his eyes when she even brushed her fingers along the back of Nico’s hand.

A part of her does feel for him, though.

She couldn’t imagine the tragedy that losing Nico Minoru would cause.

She hopes she never has to know.

Nico drums her fingers along the gearshift, forehead against the cool window, a foggy outline following the curve of her brow on the glass; if Karolina strains, she can hear the soft patter of percussion beating steady from Nico’s earphones. 

(Karolina’s  _still_  impressed Nico had managed to find that Walkman at that thrift store in St. Paul).

She waits until she hears Chase’s first crack of snoring before she turns on the dial of the radio, low enough that the calm voice of the man speaking remains a constant, comforting lull at the base of her skull.

Karolina doesn’t notice she’s been driving significantly slower than the speed limit until Nico fixes her with a look, quizzical, a crook to her mouth.

“No need to rush, old timer.”

Karolina blinks down at the speedometer. She laughs, a soft flutter of a thing, toeing the accelerator to push them forward.

“Sorry,” she says, dialing the volume of the man’s cadence down even lower. “I guess I’ve just had my mind on other things.”

Nico turns to her, tugging Karolina’s jacket along with her. “I’ve got an ear to lend”

Karolina gives a halfhearted shrug, leaning the slightest bit forward to peer through the windshield. “It’s nothing in particular, really. Just the stars. They’re nice to look at.”

Nico grins, wide and proud. “So are you.”

Karolina’s cheeks  _flare_.

“Cute,” Karolina says, a loss for words.

It’s Nico’s turn to shrug. “You must inspire it in me, I guess.”

The quiet takes them; Nico slips the earbuds back into the pocket of Karolina’s jacket. Her eyes trace up Karolina’s arms, along her jaw and down her chest. Karolina still doesn’t know what to do with all the attention, and wilts away when words fail her.

Karolina keeps her tired mind focused on the road in front of her.

Fear still pools in her gut.

She wants to agree with Alex—they need to stand up, fight back, bring their parents to justice and glue their lives back together with the little pieces they still have left. And there’s still even a part of her that wants answers, wants to know why she glows, if she’s human or not.

She chances a look towards Nico from the corner of her eye.

She wonders if Nico’s ever given it thought—that Karolina may not be a human. That, maybe, Karolina is something undiscovered, alien-like and foreign and if the thought of green scales and bulbous, black eyes makes Nico sick to her stomach.

Her eyes close tight, hard, mere seconds of darkness before she shakes her head and trains her eyes back on the road. Whatever she may be, Karolina knows that she’s still loved, still considered family by the sleeping bunch of teenagers piled into the back of their van; even the dinosaur thinks kindly of her. Nico thinks of her as family; nothing seems to have changed the way she looks at her.

Karolina thinks Nico would still like her much the same even if she had three heads.

(But maybe not four).

“Do you miss them?” Nico’s voice is small. Karolina knows what Nico won’t say, won’t clarify, still undignified to hold onto their titles as parents.

“I don’t know,” she answers, fingers lax on the steering wheel. “I want to say yes, but I don’t think I can. I’d... have to forgive them first.” The sigh she gives wracks her bone-deep. “And I don’t know if I ever could.”

Nico hums. “I just have so many questions.” Her eyes fall to the gawky, bobblehead-ed Hello Kitty Molly had lovingly plopped onto the dashboard a few days ago. “Like how they thought human sacrifice was a credible excuse for mining sustainable energy.”

“The more I think about it, the more confused I get.”

Road signs pass in flurried green blurs, Karolina not paying them much mind. Her hand leaves the steering wheel to touch her wrist, unshackled from the weight of the bracelet always stuck to her skin.

Nico catches the movement from the corner of her. “Does it feel weird?”

“A little,” Karolina rests her arm in her lap. “Without it, it sort of feels like there’s some sort of pressure building up under my skin.”

“Like, an itch?”

Karolina scrunches her nose. “No, more like a throb, or something.”

Nico regards her with a quiet gaze. Then, turning to peer into the back to see that even Old Lace has drifted off, she turns to Karolina with a crooked smile. “Go ahead.”

Karolina chances a quick glance her way, a laugh bubbling up from her chest. “What?”

Nico gestures, a noncommittal thing. “You know. Let your lights shine, or.” She bites her cheek. “Whatever.”

Karolina gapes, hanging onto words she can’t quite reach. “I’m driving.”

Nico quirks a brow. “And?”

“You don’t think a girl with bright purple, glowing skin is going to attract attention?”

Nico unbuckles; she makes a show of stretching herself along the dash to peer out of Karolina’s window, through the windshield, and it takes all of Karolina’s strength to keep her hands planted firmly on the steering wheel.

It’s no small feat; the higher the hem of Nico’s shirt rides, exposing her soft stomach, the divots and dips of her hip bones, the more Karolina’s hands ache, the tighter her fingers grip the fraying padding beneath them, the more composure she has to reign in.

This desire, this intensity is new, exhilarating. And as much as Karolina _wants_ , she has to account for what she _needs_.

Nico’s voice doesn’t register until there’s a touch, feather light on her elbow.

Karolina licks her lips, pulls the corner between her teeth. “Sorry, I—”

“Do it.”

Karolina’s mind fogs. “Do… what?”

Nico’s eyes follow the curve of Karolina’s jaw. “Show me your lights.”

Karolina glances into the rearview. Everyone is asleep. It’s only she and Nico and an empty road, stretching out for miles in perfect darkness.

Her skin begins to warm.

Of course, Nico had seen Karolina’s lights before. She wasn’t a stranger to them. But that had been for protection, for defending and deflecting, and big romantic gestures of self-sacrifice. Being able to experience the lights in an intimate sort of manner was an experience entirely separate from anything Karolina’s known in her life.

“Oh,” Nico stares in breathless wonder, Karolina glimmering in her soft, brown eyes.

Fingers rest on Karolina’s forearm, delicate like Nico was afraid touching the lights would make them disappear. It seems as though streaks of purple and pink follow the trail Nico leaves as she drags herself up and down Karolina’s arm, tracing her elbow and thumbing over her knuckles.

Karolina’s never been shy. But in this moment, she feels truly exposed.

She feels truly, undoubtedly beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Alex gets a haircut, and they all collectively mourn his loss.

Chase’s beard has really begun to grow, wispy hairs from previous shaves now gracing him with burlier looks, much to Gert’s liking.

Nico, frivolously, buys a tube of lipstick.

Karolina’s not sure what it’s for until she leaves the rest stop bathroom, neck smeared with red.

 

 

 

 

Somebody has been following her since she crossed the intersection two streets down.

Their van is parked a half mile away from the town they stopped in in North Dakota, having needed supplies for their campsite. Karolina had jumped at the chance to be the one to head into town to buy supplies, the boys having been bickering for the last hour in the front seats. Karolina swears Molly wanted to kick them both through the windshield.

Nico had offered to go with her, but Alex had been staring at her from the corner of his eye for most of the drive, unsettling her. He pointedly ignored her when Nico fluttered about her space, knees in Karolina’s lap, hand laced with hers. She felt small, scrutinized; she wanted to let her frustrations out and just glow.

But they can’t afford to get caught.

The temptation thrums beneath her skin.

Which is why, now, Karolina’s only half worried about the weight of the bags cutting circulation from the tips of her fingers and more about the heavy footsteps of a man intent on causing her unease, maybe even harm, all because she insisted to go alone.

There’s a park she decides to cut through; on the other side lies the brush she needs to climb over in order to hike to their campsite. It’s a public place, plenty of lights and strange eyes to look out for her, keep her safe, reach out if need be.

But the park is deserted.

And a few of the lamps flicker like she’s in a B-grade horror movie.

Karolina considers dropping the groceries and just to  _run_.

“You look famil’ar,” the man slurs from behind her, closer than Karolina had believed him before. “Ain’t I seen you somewhere?”

She pushes onward, picking up the pace.

“I jus’ wanna talk to ya’, sweetheart.” He’s even closer, now. “Ain’t gonna cause you no harm.”

Something brushes Karolina’s shoulder, then curls around it. Hard hands twist into her flesh.

She panics.

Her skin begins to glow before she can stop it, the groceries falling to the ground as she pushes her hand into his chest, palm alight as he ricochets off her and onto the sidewalk, into a pile of crumbled leaves.

As a groan falls from his lips, Karolina takes off in a sprint. Fast enough that her legs burn, threaten to tear apart at the seams.

She can still feel his hand on her shoulder the deeper she fumbles through outskirts of the town, leading her into the woods.

It feels as though hours had passed before their van finally pops into view. Tears, hot and heavy, sting in the corners of her eyes the closer she gets. Most likely, she could slow down, having given herself enough distance that it would take the drunken man double the time to reach her than it did her just to get here.

“Start the van!” She calls out.

Alex rises from where he’s slumped against a tree. His eyes go wide, glasses tinted in purple hues. Gert and Molly look up from where their resting against Lace, quick to their feet as Karolina nears.

Chase doesn’t hesitate; he makes a swift charge for the driver’s side of the van, the engine sputtering to life as Lace is funneled into the back, giving slight protest.

Nico starts running towards her.

“ _Karolina!_ ”

Nico almost slides into the mud as she digs her feet into the ground, turning on her heel with Karolina’s palm in her hand and they run in sync, Karolina pushing through a burn in her leg, overused and giving way to exhaustion as Alex, Gert and Molly help to hoist them into the back of the van.

Her lights seem to flicker off.

Karolina finds the nearest empty bag and heaves into it.

“Karolina…” Alex sits beside her, lifting her hair from around her face and she wretches, tears _branding_ her skin.

Gert has a hand wrapped around Karolina’s ankle. Molly keeps Lace from getting closer, a hand placed gentle between her eyes. Chase is having a near meltdown in the front seat.

Nico is deadly quiet beside her.

It takes a solid minute for her to lift her head from the bag, bile having torn her throat to shreds. Alex hands her a bottle of water, untwists the cap for her. Even small sips sear every raw swallow.

As soon as she’s upright, Nico pulls her into her chest.

“ _Baby_ ,” comes a murmur so soft it doesn’t register with her, the throb through her skull almost too much.

Karolina clutches Nico’s shirt in her fists.

“Some man…” Karolina breathes through her nose, shallow and deep. She smells Nico’s skin when her nose buries in the crook of her neck. “He said—” She leans back to keep herself from hiccupping. Hands cup her cheeks and Nico wipes the tears with the pads of her thumbs. “He _touched_ me, and I—”

Molly’s scramble for words is lost under Gert’s rush to her side and Chase’s hollering from the front seat.

“Where did he touch you?” Nico gets Karolina to look at her. “Baby, _where_ did he touch you?”

She swallows. “My shoulder.”

Gert grips her calf. “Did he hurt you?”

“N-no.” She steels herself some what, trying not to look as pathetic as she feels. “But he recognized me.”

“From the news?” Alex leans into her vision.

“I don’t think she stopped to ask the man _stalking_ her to politely tell her where he’s seen her before,” Gert snaps. Alex peels back, but his eyes remain sympathetic.

“I…” Karolina’s voice is barely above a whisper. “I thought. I thought he was going to—”

Nico has Karolina against her before the first sob wracks through her chest.

 

 

 

 

Alex drapes a blanket over her shoulders as Karolina stares down at the fire between their cabins.

They’re someone in Montana. The last few days, Karolina feels as though she’s drifted through without much recognition. Nico has been diligent at her side.

She battles with guilt on a constant basis. Nothing had happened, but at the same time, it did, and a completely perfect stranger not only violated her right to privacy but recognized her face and saw her glow.

They all tut about her, making sure she’s comfortable, feeling their trust. Truthfully, she’s feeling much better, having gotten over the initial shock, but the more she thinks about the fact that she may have cost the group their freedom if that man reports her, the more her stomach roils.

“You’re thinking so hard that you’re making my brain hurt.”

Karolina gives him a halfhearted laugh.

Alex is silent beside her, watching as the rest of the group makes idle chat around the fire, the reality of their vulnerability having caused each of them to think more and more deliberately about the situation they’re in, and coming up with solutions on how to fix it. If someone, even if they had been inebriated, had recognized Karolina, then the likelihood that the police or whoever was looking for them could sniff them out just as easily.

Chase folds Gert’s hand over his. Nico picks at the frayed ends of Karolina’s jacket.

“It’s not your fault,” Alex runs a hand through his hair, not yet used to the length. “It could have happened to any of us.”

“But it happened to me,” Karolina sinks into herself. “I’m like a walking, talking flare gun.”

Alex’s grin is soft. “I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’d rather have a walking, talking flare gun than no flares at all.”

Karolina finally looks up to meet his eyes.

“Look,” he turns to her, his shoulders hung apologetic. “I owe you so many apologies.”

“Alex, it’s not—”

“I’m sorry,” he says, the conviction in his voice unwavering. “I’ve been a dick.”

Karolina smiles, though it doesn’t reach her eyes. “It’s okay.”

“No,” he runs a hand down his face. “It’s really not.”

Karolina waits, quiet, patient for an explanation.

“I’ve been treating you like shit ever since I…” he looks around for words. “Since I found out you and Nico were a thing.”

“I don’t know if I’d call it a thing, really—”

“She loves you, Karolina,” his eyes remain steadfast, constant, and there’s suddenly not enough air around her. “In her own, weird, little Nico-esc way, she _loves_ you. It’s written all over her face.” He faces back towards the group and the smile he shares with her brings her a level of comfort she hadn’t been expecting. “I was jealous.”

Karolina blinks. Once. Twice. “Of me?”

His head dips as he laughs. “Yeah.”

They both look to Nico once more.

“She’s never looked at me like the way she looks at you.”

Karolina feels a bloom from deep within her chest, flooding over her ribs and grasping at her heart. Nico picks her head up to quickly flit her eyes between them, but fixes Karolina with that quirk to her brow and a crooked smile, suggestive on her pink mouth.

It takes a village to keep the grin from splitting her cheeks in two.

Nico turns bright red; Karolina can still see it even in the flickers of orange all across her face.

“She loves me?” It comes from her, breathless. She grinds her heel into the ground, sighing. At least she isn’t hovering in the air.

(She really feels like flying).

Alex’s eyes are kinder, softer than she’s seen them since that morning at the Wilder’s cabin. “She does.”

Nico pulls a face when they both look to her, stabbing another marshmallow onto the stick and poking it into the flames.

 

 

 

 

“What were you and Alex—”

Karolina has Nico’s jaw in her hands, swallows her words.

The fumble for the lock on their door takes a considerable amount of Karolina’s concentration, and she takes the pause in Nico’s flushed face to make sure she’s latched it right before pulling Nico in close once more, tongue tracing the curve of Nico’s lips.

Nico trips over herself as Karolina walks them towards the bed, sweeping Nico into her arms, steadying her against her chest. Being so close, Nico has to rest her hands on the low rise of Karolina’s hips above her jeans, tracing along the jut of bone carved hard into the skin below.

As knees hit the edge of the mattress, Nico puts space between them; it’s only inches, and her hands seem to have found their way even higher up Karolina’s stomach.

“Whoa, okay,” Nico pants, tongue dry and heavy in her mouth. “If you’re trying to do what I think you’re trying to do, don’t you want to talk about it beforehand?”

Karolina makes quick work of unbuttoning her own overshirt, leaving her in a light camisole and jeans, where she guides Nico’s hand to unbutton them. “Why talk when there are other things to do?”

She makes a point of brushing her fingers along the underside of Nico’s bra.

“Oh!- _kay_ ,” the sigh that tumbles from Nico’s lips is what Karolina wants to taste, wants to swallow down with her name following just before. “As much as I’m enjoying whatever is going on here,” she makes a deliberate show of putting more than just inches of space between them, “I know that this is new territory for you.”

“So?” Karolina’s mouth hovers just above Nico’s, breath warm against her lips. “Teach me.”

“Karolina,” Nico has to close her eyes. Bite down on her lip. “This is—”

Mouth folding over Nico’s bottom lip, Karolina continues to push, crawling on top of Nico on the bed. Nico balances on her elbows, falling into an easy rhythm of crawling back, tugging lips with her teeth, propping her head against the pillows; Karolina follows in step, never falling off beat.

Hands on her thighs pin Karolina’s stretch.

Nico blinks up at her with black eyes, pink cheeks, and swollen lips. The flush spreads down her neck, hidden low by the collar of her shirt—askew, a yellow bra just beyond the hem. Her face—attentive, imploring, caution creeping into the way her brows knit together—is close, but is far enough back that Karolina can see all of her. Can see the plump lips that part with each breath.

Nico runs her hands up Karolina’s thighs but stops short before her hips. She leans back, giving Karolina room in case of a changed mind.

She picks up Nico’s hand and brings it to her mouth; she kisses Nico’s palm, then presses that hand against her chest, the thrum of her heartbeat no doubt spreading to the tips of Nico’s fingers.

Nico’s fingers stretch, a breath caught behind her tongue. She stares at her hand as she fists Karolina’s shirt and pulls her down.

One hand curls around Karolina’s neck. One hand slides up the side of her shirt.

 

 

 

 

A mouth places a soft kiss on each notch of her spine.

Karolina shifts under the bedsheets, Nico’s arm slung over her waist. “I’m not sure if I want to go back.”

Nico hums, buries her face into Karolina’s hair. “Me neither.”

Their hands intertwine, and Nico pulls Karolina closer, their hands safe against Karolina’s stomach.

“Does it help if you know that I’ll be there with you?”

Karolina peers her head over her shoulder, takes in Nico’s fresh face, teasing and warm and open, and words balance on her tongue that she knows she can’t really say without fumbling through. So, she swallows them down and tires for something else instead.

Taking Nico’s chin into her hand, she kisses her, chaste and light and as calm as their morning sunshine streaming through the windows.

“It helps,” Karolina says. “It helps a lot.”


End file.
